WHAT OVERTHINK LOOKS LIKE TO ME
Uncertainty often leads me to fear and desperation. Have you ever woke up and felt that before even you start your day, you're already afraid of what's coming?
Or have you ever got home and thought whether your effort that day eventually helps you to get to where you want to be in life or not? You overthink, and then, you just feel hopeless, cause you think that it won't help you to get anywhere at all.
That stomach cramps at night, cry before bed, wandering mind, hardly meet people you love, have you ever felt this?
I am the type who overthink everything, which is I have to admit, very tiring. It was even worse in 2019, when I just graduated from college. I was timid, I was scared for new challenges, new people, or simply new experience. Overthink stops me to challenge myself, limits my ability, my creativity, and my happiness. I feel I lost myself. I just lived my life, following the flow. And at the end of 2019, I was afraid because I was already thinking the worst scenarios that can happen in 2020. I was afraid and living my life like walking on the eggshells.
It really a wonder that I came across a quote while I was scrolling my Pinterest. It says "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it only takes today's peace." It hits me really hard. I believe that God tried to wake me up, ask me why I am worrying too much. Why I have to feel afraid if what it is meant for me eventually will be mine, and what's not will not be mine no matter how I think and try.
It is certain, the quote does not wash away my overthinking habits in instant, but it opens my eyes that this cannot be going on and on. When can I enjoy my life and achieve my goals if all I do is worrying? I learn how to let go things after I read that quote.
The power of one decision that you choose is truly amazing. At that moment, I chose to live my life at the present. It leads me to take few small steps to better myself. Overthinking cannot be washed away, but you can handle it like a pro. I learn step by step to do so, yet I'm still learning now.
Starting by writing down all my thoughts, evaluate all the scenarios and focus on the positive result when I overthink something. Try to end my day by writing on my gratitude journal, realizing my day is not bad at all. It is okay to not be productive, it is okay to not figure out everything.
Every time my heavy thoughts come, I choose to meditate, listen to my favorite music, do some workout, or watch any tv show. I choose to not give any chance for my negative thoughts to take control of my feelings.
One insight that helps me to trust in myself is to think that the voice in my head is only my roommate that I should try to get along in my life. The voice does not say fully right about myself, I am more than who she thinks I am, I am capable to get what I want, I can be who I want to be. Cause you don't always listen to your roommate, right?